Chronicles of Heero Yui
by Kolinshar Benito
Summary: After the Endless Waltz, the Perfect Solider has changed. Here's a whole side of Heero Yui you would never have thought you'd see..."Who says I gave you permission to stare at my perfect ass? Oh... well, if you insist..."
1. Entry 1: Assasination of Death

**Chronicles of Heero Yui**  
Journal Entry One: Assassination of Death  
By: Kolinshar Benito  
October 2003  
  
  


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Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and Sailor Moon are copyright their original owners. All standard disclaimers apply. Idea taken from "The Chronicles of Lucius" by Fyrie.   
  
Dedication: To all the rather insane authors around here. Join the club!   
  
Head Notes: Hmm, I'm afraid that my imagination has run away with me once again. Please forgive me for some profanity, insanely hilarious and out of character comments, and whatnot.   
  


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**October 1  
Preventor Headquarters  
3:00AM**   
  
Dammit! Haven't those stupid officers prancing around in their Boy Scout uniforms at the Preventor Headquarters know the idea of _sleeping?!_ Shit, it's three-fucking-o'clock in the freaking morning. I've had zero hours of bloody sleep! Dammit!! Note to self, must kill Quatre's British diplomats. Diplomatic immunity my ass. Who says they can't just "mysteriously" disappear one night and never return? But then Quatre would know it was me… Ahhh, the British. Delightful folk, don't you think? Their concept of swearing has started to rub off on me. _Honestly._ Who the hell thought of cursing as saying the word _bloody?_ If that was the case, I'd rather start taking my anger out on killing people and causing people to _actually_ be bloody than actually taking it out on a cursing fit of swears. Oh wait. I already do that. Pardon me. Or would it be pardon moi? Waiiittt a second. That's French. Excuse-moi!   
  
Oh look here comes Lady Une. Who has a cup of very appealing coffee in her hand right now. Yet does not go out of her way to offer the colonies saviors something which will wake them up better. Humph. Lady my ass. Is that even her real name? I mean, who would honestly name their kid "Lady"? I'd pity the poor child who actually got cursed with a name like that. Me being one of those children who got pitied as well. I know that I was named after the _real_ Heero Yui, but who goes around naming their kid Heero? Freaking hell. For one, people have no idea how to pronounce the word properly. Hee-ro? Heh-ro? Hear-o? Get the stupid name right. Damn damn damn…   
  
Well the Commander of the Preventors has now sat in her comfy and plushy looking swivel chair, while we, the brave and courageous Gundam pilots settle for the wooden seats with no cushioning. My ass is going to be numb and sore by the time were finished here. Because all she does is talk and talk… you'd think she'd get the idea that we've already hacked into the main computer accounts and assessed all the upcoming missions. But nooo… we have to sit and listen to her yap again… Voice is droning. Hmm, eww… she has something in her nose… I've never noticed how big Une's nose is until now… It's very big and upturned. Ever heard of a nose hair plucker? Neither have I, but if there was something like that I'd recommend it to her for usage. Ew… that the hell am I thinking? I blame it on the lack of sleep. No sleep makes me act funny. And it's three am. I may be the Perfect Solider, but I do need to rest my eyes and drift into an REM stage once in a while… Oh, embracing darkness calls to me like coffee… No, not death, idiot. Hmm… Coffee…   
  
Oh crap. Duo's looking at me strangely. My ever so monotonous mask has slipped a bit. But you gotta admit, I look damn hot with it. Especially with my glare. Don't you dare think that I haven't noticed the others looking at me. And my glare. Hooo booy! Evil death glare has been perfected. Hotness galore factor has tripled every time I use it. Hehe. It's my secret weapon. One look at my enemies and bam, they double back to look again at my glorious face. Unfortunately, I have to kill them later one, but it does good on one's ego to be appreciated as such a "hunk" Duo would say. And my hair! Goddamn! Don't you think that my tousled goldilocks (or rather, brownilocks) are amazing? Not to mention my ass. Which is in tip top physical condition I must add. Mwahahaha. But I must hint to Quatre to get that new pectoral shaping product I saw on the telly. Aghh! Television!!! Bloody British…   
  
Speaking of my ass, it is currently going numb and all the hard work I did to get it in this shape is going down the drain. Maybe I should ask Duo to kick it later to get the nerves working again. But then he would look at me… or rather, I should say, my beautifully sculpted buttocks and then swoon. Yes, Duo is a materafactly gay. Not that I have anything against it, but still… It's good to know that my charms lie with both the male and female gender. Bwahahaha.   
  
Ohhh… Une is commenting about how she's called in help. Well of course she would need help. I'd recommend her to the nearest asylum, but it would be rude of me to say so aloud. Then again, very out of character for me as well. Oh woe is me! No one knows the true, conniving, devious, and incredibly hot Heero Yui. Well, maybe the last one. Because I am hot. Bwahahaha.   
  
Ohhh, so Une thinks that we can't handle this mission by ourselves now, does she? Wufei is looking rather ticked. I don't see why he puts so much energy in displaying his emotions when he can look hot. Like me. See? His face gets all scrunched up and glaring. Not to mention his eyebrows make me mad. Notice the lacking of undergrowth hair beneath the brow. He plucks them no doubt. Tee hee! I have discovered your secret, justice seeker!   
  
Ohhhh! So she's bring in woman to help us on this mission, is she now? Well damn her. I can handle this mission as a man. A MAN I tell you!! Oh wait. They aren't going to actually be helping us on the mission apparently. The people who she is bringing in are just tagging along. Because they have no observe how the professionals do it themselves. Jesus Christ. Note to self: must shook Une at first ample opportunity. How could she think of sending the newbies with us?   
  
And I'm still tired… Coffeeeeeeee…   
  
**3:55AM**   
  
Blah blah blah. Look at me! I'm Commander Une and talk a lot!! Shuuuttt uppp!!! But must retain calm composure. Because is would be very un-Perfect Solider ish to do such a this.   
  
**4:35AM**   
  
Tempting… oh so tempting… Damn her to hell! Just shut up! Spare us, please!!   
  
...   
  
Coffee….   
  


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**Quatre's Estate  
3:00PM**   
  
Must… refrain… from… shooting… the… newbies…   
  
I am never going to get married. I never realized how much woman actually spend talking. They're more like rabid and forever screeching budgies. The blonde one… the short blonde one… wait, they both are short. Okay, the short blonde, blue eyed hottie with the craziest hairstyle I have ever seen is arguing with a black haired girl. Correction on description of latter woman. Black haired woman with steam coming out of her ears… greatly impersonating Wufei. Do you know how hard is it to accomplish that task?   
  
Anyway, who wears their hairstyle in balls? And how the hell does she manage to keep it in that shape! I do not know many people who happen to be Japanese at the same time as well. Just a little too weird in the genetic pool for my tastes. Hot though… extremely hot. Maybe even a person worthy of staring at my perfect ass.   
  
Oh wait, too late. She already is. Hey hey hey! Who says I gave permission to look? Oh… but if you insist…   
  
Anyway, that does not block the fact that she keeps on talking. Or rather, screaming at the black haired chick. Shuuuttt uppppp….!! I haven't had any bloody sleep yet!! Ack, reverting to British talk. Shoot Quatre, shoot Quatre…or rather: shoot Quatre and the wanking diplomats. Shoot Quatre and the wanking diplomats...   
  
Oh dinner's ready. Yet they keep on arguing. Loudly. Oh my ears. I am never going to accept an assignment from Une again. Damn the newbies. Couldn't they have chosen a career in a different working area? They look to… uhh, delicate to be doing the grunt work of the Preventors. If they chose a job in the "stripping" industry though… I would be more than happy to lend my services, of course. I can see blondie in a bunny suit and ears… Merry Christmas to you to, Santa Clause.   
  
Oh Quatre cooked dinner. Smells good too… Smells more than good. …okay fine! …he can live for now. His lifeline is being judged by his cooking capacity. Oh what a sad world we live in!   
  
Duo and blondie seem to be digging into the meal. Oh lovely. Why don't we all just argue over pieces of chicken now? Quatre is motioning to another plate of chicken. Wow. Blondie eats a lot. …wait, did she just steal my steak?   
  
Will continue mentally tallying up my shit list tomorrow. For I need to sleep. Well, eat first, then sleep… and then make sure that the blonde one takes a look at my perfect butt. Will ask the blonde one her name tomorrow. For she shall remain anonymous in my dreams tonight…   
  


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**End of Entry**   
  
LOL! My craziness has done a little overtime tonight. Please review!   
  
Let insanity ensue, Kolinshar Jackie-chan Benito 


	2. Entry 2: Bye Bye Boxers

**Chronicles of Heero Yui**  
Journal Entry Two: Bye Bye Boxers  
By: Kolinshar Benito  
November 2003   
  


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Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and Gundam Wing copyright their original owners. All standard disclaimers apply. The concept for this story was inspired by "The Chronicles of Lucius" by Fyrie. Read it.   
  
Dedicated: To Fyord Knifeknight. May this chapter inspire you to change your clothes. Also dedicated to SilverCaladan, the first reviewer of this story.   
  
Head Notes: How you all doing? Well, I received a considerate number of reviews for the first chapter of this absolutely insane story, so I decided to continue it! This story is completely done on the part of my brain marked "insanity" so things may not make much sense… but are nonetheless hilarious. Once again, please forgive me for the complete OOCness of Heero, comical quickies, and some insulting words to the British. No offence intended. You must have a basic concept of odd quirks to life. British humor amuses me. Enjoy!   
  


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**Winner Estate - Entertainment Room #3  
November 28  
4:00 PM**   
  
The blonde newbie's name was Usagi. Usagi translates to rabbit in English, I believe. Wait, I am the Perfect Soldier. Doubt does not exist in my mind. But yet… I suppose it would either mean _rabbit… or shag me. Please. _While my mind lingers on the chance that it might be the latter, I unfortunately must accept that it may translate to rabbit.   
  
But who in their right mind would have named their kid after an animal? An animal that mates 24/7, I may add. Yeesh, the odd fact is that she looks nothing like any of the members in her family. She showed me a picture of a family reunion that they had, and it seems that none of them have any common physical characteristics. Her mother has teal coloured hair! Teal. I mean, come on people. Her cousin is pink haired with red eyes. Contacts? I can't explain it otherwise. The person she bears any resemblance to would be her "cousin" apparently, named Minako Aino, who is as blonde haired and blue eyed as her. Yet as I discovered with first hand experience, this girl has more twists and turns than a corkscrew.   
  
I'm not sure if that was a good analogy, but combined with the completely extraordinary events and people that seem to follow both Usagi (snicker) and that black head girl (…what was her name again?) around, corkscrew might not even cut it. Oh well. Incidentally, the number of odd things happening around the two is beginning to raise suspicions within me. For one, the pair had come back beaten black and blue from a shopping trip at _two in the bloody morning._ And what's with those oddly shaped sticks they think they're concealing in their back pocket? I still don't understand why any of the others hasn't mentioned _anything_ about these incidents.   
  
Note to self: kill British diplomats. Hmm… but I think that they are catching on to my ploys to knock them off the living species list. I suppose putting purple colored rat poison in their rice might have attracted their suspicions, but they refuse to say anything about it. Who would not love a great batch of bitter tasting walnut flavoured rice? Good British boys they are. Because they could not afford to screw anything up, and attention would surely to focused on them when they were staying in the Winner Estate with _the_ Quatre Winner as their host. As it was, they were also meeting with Relena in two days time. I think they're regretting coming early for their meeting with her… their thoughts would be logical considering that they were staying next door to me…   
  
I expect the reason that Quatre placed _both_ the British wankers and the screeching newbies as my temporary neighbours would be that I am the most capable of defending them. But then again, any one of the former Gundam pilots would have been sufficient enough to guard even more than this group. So I go back to my conclusion that Quatre Winner _does_ have a sadistic mind in which he hides behind that bright and cheery exterior of his.   
  
Trowa would laugh if he ever heard me say that. No. I take that back. He wouldn't just laugh. He would laugh hysterically. If you can't even get him to say Happy Birthday, think about him laughing.   
  
Wait a tick, …My God, I just said _wait a tick_. I will never watch _Austin Powers_ again. Or _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_. Damn Duo and his stupid oldie movies. Maxwell is dying. Tonight. And will be buried in a cardboard box. With holes so worms can burrow their way through. And then I will give him a decent cremation and pour his ashes in a coconut. Whether or not it gets lifted by a swallow and flown to Europe would be beyond me. But you'd have to suspect if it would be a European swallow or an African swallow that would be capable of carrying him. Oh, pardon me, I mean it. Or two European swallows flying side by side with the coconut grasped in their talons might work as well.   
  
Shutting up.   
  


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**5:00 PM**   
  
_Oh My Holy Ass_. I never thought that I would say this, but I, the great and notorious Heero Yui, have been reduced and lulled into watching a chick flick. An _ancient_ chick flick I may add, with one of the most used cliché plots I have ever read, seen, and ever heard of. _Ever After -- A Cinderella story._ Aghh… I refuse to be degraded to banging my head on the nearest available object. But the idea is quite enticing indeed… I have two woman on either side of me bawling their eyes out.   
  
The blonde meatball-headed one, Tsukino-san, currently has fat, wet tears rolling down either side of her cheeks, a crumpled tissue in her fist as she blew hard into it, forever grating down on my nerves. I think I liked her better when she was pigging out at dinner. And I'm positive she stole my steak… The raven haired chick beside me, Hino-san, apparently has a bit more control in her emotional state. But… I eyed the overflowing trash can to the corner… she had used that entire Kleenex box to herself. Aghhh! This was not the way I wanted to spend my Thursday afternoon…   
  
An eruption to the left of me made me jump in my seat. Holy shit, that bloody scared me! My eyes once again observe the bawling blonde (_"Aiiiyyyaaa!!! That was sooo sweet!!" Nhhhhhhhnhggggg! Then she would blow her nose again at the pure sappiness of the movie…_) and twitched suddenly as the so called eruption was her blowing her nose. I shuddered uncontrollably. Someone… people save me…   
  
The phone did not ring. The doorbell did not ring. The fax machine did not fax things. I have no mission. I had finished writing up my reports. So where the hell did the concept of being saved my the bell come from?!   
  
Whose ever sick, _sick_ joke this was will die a terrible death.   
  


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**Kolinshar Benito's House - Alberta, Canada  
11:31 AM**   
  
A girl looked up from her purple swivel seat decorated in peace signs and Dashboard Confessional stickers and laughed evilly. She resumed typing her evil, evil "journal" of Heero Yui.   
  


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**Winner Estate - Entertainment Room #3  
5:10 PM**   
  
I will hold firmly to the Heero Yui belief that there is no God. For if there was, these events would never have happened to me. God. I have never so anxiously awaited for 7:00 PM to finally come. Maxwell is meeting me for the mission details that we're dragging the girls along for. _Shudder_. Lady Une is one seriously twisted woman.   
  


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**Shady Looking Abandoned Theatre  
7:03 PM**   
  
I was late. By three minutes. Dangnabbit!   
  
Duo Maxwell was already waiting in the theatre, looking ready to kill. Of course, he was the self-proclaimed Shinigami, so he always looked ready to kill. But today he looked ready to kill instantly and quite more painfully and slowly than usual. Which was quite an accomplishment in even my point of view considering all he wears is priests clothes. I mean honestly! Priests clothing…   
  
"Hey Heero."   
  
"Maxwell," I nodded subtly. Tee hee. I have mastered the subtle nodding technique. My gaze wanders away from the folder in his hand and I look him over thoroughly, but subtly. Maxwell smirked in a knowing way…   
  
"Lady Une has a mission."   
  
_Twitch_. "Excuse me?"   
  
"Colonel Lady Une has a _mission_ for you, oh great Heero Yui." I love the way he just makes the word 'mission' roll off his tongue like that. It gives me tingles of pleasure running up and down my spine! …oh God, I sounded like a complete female pansy.   
  
_Throbbing vein._ "That's what I thought you said. But we already have another mission with those new recruits."   
  
Wow this was certainly interesting. This was the first time I had called them anything other than "newbie."   
  
"That mission has been transferred to another Preventor unit."   
  
That damn bitch! Stupid Lady Une, dragging me out of bed in the friggin wake of dawn to inform me of a mission that I wasn't even going to end up completing. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…   
  
I sighed. "What's the mission?"   
  
A smile twitched on Duo's face. See! There it went again! _Twitch!_   
  
"Uh… You see, Une needs someone to infiltrate this new group posing as a fraternity at the Farinston Institute."   
  
"Well, why don't you take this mission yourself?"   
  
"I'm busy."   
  
_Busy checking out my ass, that's what._   
  
"So do you accept the mission?"   
  
"Mission accepted."   
  
"Good!" Duo exclaimed far too cheerfully in the depressing theatre. He handed me a package wrapped in a black garbage back. "Here's the uniform for the school."   
  
I inwardly winced as I held my breath in the chance that the suit would not be blue or brown, and would not have a ruffled collar than those stuffy ass pants that you couldn't even bend over in.   
  
I got my prayer answered. But that didn't mean that I didn't like the results.   
  
It was a red skirt with a white blouse which was covered over with a matching red overcoat. The tie was a light pink shade. I stared at it in horror as I looked onto the school crest embroidered neatly on the folded overcoat. In bold stitching were the words _Farinston Institute for **Girls**._   
  


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**End of Journal Entry Two. **  
Stay tuned on the next episode of… *insert DBZ music* …Chronicles of Heero Yui!

  
  
I realize that it has been a while since I updated any of my stories. My apologies. I'm not going to make excuses, really, I'm not. But school really sucks, you know? Ah well. Review if you please!   
  
_Let insanity ensue, Kolinshar Benito._   
  
Words of advice: Read the dedication notes. Reviews are good. They are also evil. But they are still good. All Canadians are not lumberjacks. We do not have pet beavers, although it would be a nice change. It does not snow here 24/7. We have the Royal Canadian Air Farce. I do not live in an igloo. Enjoy life. Remember those who died for us during acts of terrorism and war. Human lives are not the price of victory… they are the price of war. 


	3. Daily Happenings: The Sex God Drag Queen

_Insert stolen disclaimer here. _XD

**CHRONICLES OF HEERO YUI**

**Daily Happenings: The Sex God Drag Queen**

By: Kolinshar Benito

Warning: Not for people below the age of 13. Kekekeke.

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I don't freaking believe it! They did it. They actually did it. Hours of painstaking beautification had impossible ramifications upon my body. They streaked my hair blonde. White blonde. And tamed it. THEY TAMED MY LIONESS OF A HAIRDO! I snarled inwardly. Do they know just how long it took me _every single day_ to achieve that sexy tousled look? THREE HOURS. Three bloody hours every morning to achieve perfection. First I have to shower, because when I wake up, my hair is just Frizz Mountain. Its bad enough that I have to use the same shampoo a dog uses to get all the tangles and knots out. Then there's the hair drying, straightening iron... Ugh, all of it gone to waste when they added a perming solution to my beautiful strands. But I suppose that wasn't the worst of what they did.

I'm amused by the fact that there are now fake jewel studs stuck to my finger nails. With glue. Tee hee, woman come up with the most ridiculous things. I watched as it reflected some artificial light. Oooh, shiny. But God. I _know _I broke that beautician's nose when I accidentally kicked her in the face. Oops? Well dammit, she grabbed one of the most sensitive parts of my body. And then caressed it lovingly with her hands before massing them with some oil. I was in sweet heaven for a while. No one had done this in _forever. _I remember Maxwell attempting to do it once, but I think it resulted in more pain than pleasure. I was intrigued when she offered me some different colored plastics to cover it with. I finally decided on a Prussian blue. It went well with my eyes.

But then I kicked her. Well -- what can I honestly say to that? My bloody foot is as precious to me as... my other parts. But when she brushed her finger against my middle toe... it was like a reflex reaction! It shot up and nailed her in the face! We had to get a replacement to put the fake plastic nails on. Hahaha! But it was a hoot. Hoot hoot! I was laughing my head off. Inside my head. Err...

Anyway.

There are three rules in which I live my life by: Grunting, killing, and pimping.

Err, I mean primping. Not pimping. Primping. Yessss....

But then they waxed my legs... and other parts. I will kill whoever first brought up the brilliant idea of waxing. You will kill your nervous system by doing so. I would have rather taken a fucking bullet than go through the waxing of my legs... and other parts again. I only have so much of a pain threshold. When they waxed my... other part though, I nearly stabbed my thigh with a pen just to try and focus the pain elsewhere.

After the endless number of people under the pay roll of the Preventors finished fixing my appearance, I swore I would never belittle my masculinity again. The eye brow pluckers, make up artists, hair dressers, waxing experts... all sent by the Devil to torture me.

But one thought continuously echoed through my mind.

Damn, do I look hot or what?

A smile peeked through my lips, making a cobalt-blue eyed pilot look at me questioningly. Uh oh. Must Remain Impassive. That is the nature of the true Perfect Soldier. But I know he's checking me out. I, Heero Yui, whether dressed as a man or woman, will eternally be hot. It is written within the tapestry of time. The only thing I'm missing are my raving fan girls.

I cross my arms under my fake boobs, then looked down at them with great uncertainty. They were certainly... small. If I may be cursed to be a woman for a month, then you might as well give me the best package possible. I poked at them, surprised to find them incredibly soft. Meh, this bra felt odd against his skin. It seemed just wrong, but looking down at those protruding lumps on my chest, I felt like I needed some gratification.

I grunted, and Noin looked away from her job of fixing my hair.

"Hmm? Heero? Do you want something?"

I squeezed my left boob.

"This one is smaller than the right one. Make it bigger."

With that, the braided prankster burst into hysterical laughter.

I failed to see the humour in this. I really wanted a freaking bigger boob. I now understand why woman are so obsessed with their breast size and getting implantations. The bigger they are, the comfier they are to squeeze. It was obviously for comfort and moral abdication. Cruel laughter echoed within my head.

Noin had a very pained look on her face. Maxwell was crying tears from laughing so hard. Idiot.

Maybe Noin was pissed off by the fact that these small jugs were already bigger than her own chest. Ahhh... I pity the ill informed. I guess Milliardo was a Leg Man. Had to be. I can't imagine him marrying a woman with small breasts unless she had legs that went on for miles. And that was Miss Lucretzia Noin.

Then a single thought struck me. Why the hell didn't they just ask another _woman _to do this job, and spend thousands of dollars primping and feminizing a man?

Why, God, why?

"Uh, you finally figured it out, eh?"

What the fuck? Did I just say that out loud?

"Err, yes you did," Duo answered, a scared look on his face. But for good reason.

"What did you mean by, 'You finally figured it out, eh?'" I asked him, glaring at him murderously.

"Oh... uh, what? I didn't say that!" Duo protested.

"Maxwell... I heard you say, 'Uh, you finally figured it out, eh?' just a moment ago!" I vehemently proclaimed.

"No, I didn't!" Duo denied, a wild look in his eye as he tried to find the nearest exit.

"Are you saying that we could have simply asked a person of the female gender to do this mission?!" I asked incredulously. Well, as incredulous as I could possibly get with my voice.

"Yes. I mean no! I mean NO!" Duo cried out as he leapt away, avoiding my first lunge I him. He ran past me, and I whirled around in my new clogs and the skirt fanned out, wonderfully showing off my new underwear and hairless legs.

That caught Duo's attention, and I tackled him to the ground. The landed with a giant grunt on the ground, and we wrestled for control. I felt one of my new fake nails snap off, and the nerves in my fingers flared with sudden pain. I winced slightly, which shifted my weight suddenly, giving Maxwell the advantage that he needed.

He rolled on top of me, and pinned my arms on top of me. The concrete floor below me began to seep coldness onto my very warm body. I struggled to throw the bastard off of my, but to no avail.

"02, you bastard, get off of me!" I grunted out, trying to escape the hand he got me in. I kicked my legs up, my intent to get enough leverage to kick him in the balls. It worked to get him in the air for a couple seconds, but he dodged my lethal blow and fell in between my legs.

"Agh, dammit Heero! Quit jerking around," he groaned between clenched teeth.

"Then get off of me, you baka!" I shot back with new intentions to castrate him the moment he got off of me.

"No! You'd kill me if I'd let you go now!"

"Heh, you got the 'killing you' part correct." I mumbled, grinning sadistically for a second.

A loud crash behind us startled us both and the broken pieces of a hair dyer lay at her feet.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" Noin shouted at us, a horrified look on her face.

Duo grinned cheekily. "What? You've never seen to people about to have sex before?"

I lay under him, stunned for a moment. "02. Get the hell off me." I then realized that during our little 'wrestling' match, we had gotten ourselves into a very compromising position. My arms were still pinned above me, and the fact that Duo was in between my legs at the moment said a lot. My skirt was flared around my waist dramatically, and hid nothing as it flopped around to the side in its uselessness. My white underwear was showing, and Duo looked like quite the dominatrix. Holy crap, this position was so hot.

I winced though, as doing 'it' with Duo Maxwell wasn't quite the experience I was looking for.

Usagi trailed a moment later, and her jaw dropped in... well, I don't know what expression she was conveying. It seemed to be a cross between surprise, lust, horror, and an orang-utan. I shook my head. What?!

"Holy crap, she gasped out in childlike wonder, her wide blue eyes becoming even wider, "Heero is really a girl?!"

We all blanched at her comment, whether it was apparent or not.

That did it. I needed to get out of here.

"Duo. Get off of me." I grounded out.

"Righty-oh, lovable sex god of me life," he said, giving me a saucy wink as I pried him off of me.

"Shut up, you baka. I know that wasn't a fucking gun prodding my leg." I whispered harshly at him, basking in the glory of his surprised look.

Inner Heero was currently bashing his head against a brick wall.

**End Entry.**

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Bwahahahaha.

I can't believe I've updated again. Short but sweet.

Let insanity ensue, Kolinshar Benito. 

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**Reviewer's Corner**

Thanks for all your support you guys:

**Senshi's Tenshi, Jupiter Angel, Tenshi-Kaikou, Shikai-sama, Chibi Horsewoman, TigerTiger02, SVZ, Usagi Asia Maxwell, LeadReaperOfTheHeartsAndSouls, Datajana, The Cuteness, Senshi, Kail CeannaI**

**Transcendent**: I suppose its because of my recent Social Studies class. The British... ahh, delightful folk. Considering it's been a long time since I've updated, my five second prejudice has dissolved as well.

**Bronwen Stx**: Holy crap, that's awesome! Yay for Albertan authors!

**Gackt Camui: **sobs I love you too!

**SilverCaladan**: I am sad to see that you've stopped writing your fics. Pity. I rather enjoyed your work.

**Himeno Midori**: Not any meds that I know of. I'm naturally insane.

**Black Aura-Sama**: it's rather ironic that in the same month that you review, I update. Strange world we live in. 

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Remember people, save the wallabies.


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